12:30 pm: Hey, nice party. Cool people. I should probably just have a drink to be sociable before we head off to see the rest of the street fair and do home tours.
12:32 pm: Oooh! Mimosas! I feel soooo classy and shit!
12:50 pm: Oops….mimosa was very tiny drink. We still haven’t moved off down the street fair, and the sun does feel soooo nice. Beautiful day for a lawn party, and Roger and Ron are such great hosts – remind me of Scott back home. What the heck? Let’s have a bloody mary. Just one…then we hit the fair.
1:15 pm: Hmmm…Boyfriend and Roommate are still making the rounds being friendly and mingly. As long as we’re here, I suppose maybe I should have another…
1:35 pm: Oh hey, these people love me and think I’m adorable! We should definitely stay here a little longer! Just long enough for maybe one more bloody mary…
1:45 pm: Uh oh. I don’t know these people. If I don’t talk they’ll think I’m boring. I’d better go get another bloody mary.
2:05 pm: Boyfriend and Roommate just got more drinks. That means we’ll be here a few more minutes. Maybe I’ll just go chat with the cute bartender for a minute and have some water.
2:06 pm: Bloody mary, bloody mary, bloody mary!
2:37 pm: Uh oh…am hungry. Guacamole and pretzel mixes look good, as do tiny mini cupcakes with white chocolate glaze icing…
2:37 pm: But on second thought, this is a predominantly gay crowd so the food is merely decorative. But a bloody mary has veggies and good healthy stuff in it, right?
3:02 pm: Ohmigod! I just met my new best friend! He’s fabulous! More drinks here!
3:15 pm: Ohmigod! I just met my new best friend ever! She’s fantastic! Let’s go bond in the bar line!
3:30 pm: Ohmigod! I just met my new best friends in the whole world! I must finish this drink off so I can get their names and numbers in my phone.
3:31 pm: Mission accomplished. Have numbers, but now have no drink in hand. Travesty!
3:50 pm: Bathroom break!!!
4:05 pm: Bummer…no more bloody mary mix. Will have a screwdriver with new best friend ever.
4:07 pm: Hmmm. Screwdriver equals weak yuckiness. New best friend has just lost best friend status.
4:10 pm: Wait, how’d it get so late? And what happened to that home tour and street fair we were supposed to do? Oh well…they probably didn’t have alcohol.
4:15 pm: Yay for hot friendly men who think I”m way cute! More drinks all around!!!
4:22 pm: Hmmm….getting late. Where’d Boyfriend and Roommate go, anyway?
4:23 pm: Maybe I should look at the bar for them.
4:24 pm: Nope. Not at bar. Who was Iooking for again?
4:40 pm: Oh, that’s right…need to find people to go away home. I wonder if they’re back at the bar?
4:45 pm: Some asshole just bumped into me and spilled my drink a bit. He was hot though, so I won’t kill him. Should probably top drink back off, though.
4:46 pm: Oh, hi reflect-y glass patio door! How long have you been standing there?
5:05 pm: Hmmm…party’s winding down. Vodka almosht gone. I ssshould really help dishpose of it.
5:50 pm: Where’sh Boyfriend gone? And why did the keypad on my phone sssuddenly get so itssssy-bitssssy?
6:02 pm: Found Boyfriend! Found Roommate! Those bitches were drinking with people I haven’t had a chance to meet yet! Must go introduce myself.
6:10 pm: Met people. Geez, what a bunch of lushes here!
6:12 pm: I wonder if there’s still vodka?
6:13 pm: No vodka, but boys asked us to go dancing at club. Woohoo!
6:13 pm: Oh, yeah. Hafta go home. Hafta do something tomorrow early.
6:15 pm: I’m fine. I donneed water.
6:20 pm: Donneed water.
6:30 pm: No donneed water. I’m a big boy now. Why’s the car spinning? And when did we get in the car? An why can’t I drive?? I’ma very good driver.
7:15 pm: How’d this pita get in my hand?
7:16 pm: How’d this pita get in my hand?
7:18 pm: How’d this pita get in my hand?
7:21 pm: We stopped for food? When’d that happen? And what happened to the sky? It’s all dark.
9:02 pm: I wonder if anyone wants to go find dinner?
9:03 pm: Oh, that’s right. Ate pita.
9:16 pm: Wow, crazy tiredness happening! And…unhappy stomach. Obviously was a bad pita.
9:17 pm: Ohmigod I can’t believe how really very tired I am. Maybe if I take a nap here curled around the toilet Boyfriend will tuck me in bed before he leaves?
9:20 pm: Am so tired I think I could die.
9:30 pm: Am so tired I think I could die.
9:45 pm: Am awake from my little nap now!
9:50 pm: I suppose I should give Boyfriend’s shoes back to him so he can go home.
9:51 pm: Shoelaces are tricksy.
10:05 pm: Oopsies. Forgot that walking Boyfriend to the door to go home means no Boyfriend to walk me back to bed. Adventure time!!!
10:05 pm: Oops. Damn shoes.
10:05 pm: Oh. Hi furniture!
10:05 pm: Cats! Cats running! Chase cats!
10:05 pm: Mr. Wall, why you spin like that?
10:06 pm: Yay! Made it to bed! When did light switch make room spin instead of ceiling fan?
10:08 pm: Oh my god…I’m gonna sleep forever.
10:09 pm: Dammit! I have to work in the morning! Life is so fucking unfair!!!
10:10 pm: Goodnight, spinny world!
3:30 am: Am wiiiiiide awake. Perhaps I’m getting too old for this.
5:30 am: Still awake, but tired, dammit. Alarm clock is going off. Am too old for this.
5:32 am: Thank you, room, for not spinning as much this morning. And thank you, dear vodka, for reminding me how much we dislike each other. Now, please kindly fuck off and leave me to die.